Not having a clue what i want to put down on paper. No, not writer’s block. Ive suffered through that before. Its mostly a loss of direction that brings me to tumblr today. I dont have an idea or a focused thougt that needs to be written. But rather, a random set of events that have conspired to fill my mind with conflicting emoticons. (i say emoticons instead of emotions because i dont want you to think im being sentimental or sad. Business school is about lions.. not lambs. Or something like that. I was told you need to vote for the lion when you watch a hunt in discovery channel because thats the business school way. Which ofcourse is bullshit in my books, but thats another can of worms i dont want to open.)
So what has been happening? Well, mid term exams. They were a mixed bag. Had a few surprises there. It helped bring to my attention the lack of preparation i have in actually writing an exam. The biggest problem i have there is concentrating for such a long time. (yeah you say 90 minutes isnt long, but my mind tends to wander, and wander it did!) Its no surprise that a grad school expects more of you, or that effort expended vs returns is not really a straight line linear return, but a curve that flattens out once you exceed your IQ level. And boy do i have a low IQ level.
But i can’t really do much about the IQ level at this stage/age. So i should probably just focus on the other externalities… yeah?
Whats missing here? What am i doing now that i wasnt doing before or what am i not doing now that i was doing before. Well, there is the sense of not knowing SO DAMN MUCH. Or that simple fact that i’m basically cutting off stuff i used to do, simply because i feel i dont really have the time for it. Well… light reading? Whatever happened to the Terry Pratchett novels i used to read? What happened to the mission to read all british literature and british history before i turn 25? Whatever happened to the music that i used to listen to?
If my mind is simply stuffed with jargon and facts, i guess that’s no good. As i write this, im listening to Smooth Operator by Sade. Oooh its nice. And ive just planned it… am reading Pyramids tonight. And there you go.. im feeling better now! Have made a plan and everything. Its in my schedule, right between preparing for tomorrow’s managing people class and sleep.
Que sera sera…