The plan has always been misguided. It has always been narrowly focused on self actualisation by improving my head, my thinking, my horizons. I didnt want to be bounded by what limited exposure to the world i had managed in the past 25 years, and so the plan was… lets get smarter. Lets make it my mission to end up in an intellectual conversation with someone and for once not just being the one listening to astonishing stories about a concept, a venture, an economic truth, but to actually contribute to the same conversation by providing a knowledgeable point of view.
I wanted to be able to identify classical music, to quote Macbeth and claim a superior understanding of self and even the solar system. If called upon, I should have been able to make a speech on topics as diverse as world trade or Zara’s fast fashion machine. I wanted to know not just that Chanel was a woman who used to make hats but relate her history like I could my own.
But this was all self, and no context was established… it has now.
I still maintain that a life in a university is one I enjoy best, there is nothing more valuable and satisfying that learning… nothing. And so I will continue to take courses and be affiliated to universities in some capacity forever. I want to study music, I want to learn about theatre. I want to understand Shakespeare and I want to read the classics. A year ago I would have loosely said, I wanted to be cultured, but no, that’s not it. I want to experience culture too!
And so there has to be a second part to this plan. And thats travel. I need to see New Zeland, to walk through the subways in japan, idly rest in the beaches of Bora Bora… and hike in the rainforests of Peru. I need to see the arctic, I need to feel the icy chill as I walk on glaciers. I need to see the sunrise in Yellowstone and the sunset in Hawaii.
When I walk the streets of Paris, (and that day will come when I do), I want to see marvel at the beauty of the city and capture its sense and elegance in my writing. When I walk past a castle in Wales, I need to believe that it is possible that it were haunted. And when I see the pyramids in Egypt, I need to marvel at how insignificant my existence has been thus far, because I have left behind no such legacy.
I need to travel… don’t I?
I need to learn & I need to learn to travel.