Life resume…

This is based off an idea from Kendra Alvey’s post on kengragarden.com. She imagines a world where you create a resume for your life and have to hand it in to new friends when you are introduced.

You can read her post here: http://www.kendragarden.com/2012/02/life-resume.html

So, I thought… let me have a go at this.

Rahul Mishra

Wannabe writer

rahmis9.wordpress.com

Profile:

Frequently described as equal parts creative and nut job, I may come across as a quiet and introspective person. But beware! That is but a ploy. I am secretly observing you and deciding if we should be friends. I am always thinking of new ways to learn and improve whatever it is that I am doing. I am always the first person each morning and the last person each night that you see online. Yes, I may have a sleeping problem.

I will probably be the first one in the relationship to initiate the google chat- which is indicative of ‘I care enough to have a conversation with you’

Also, I am vegetarian… so think twice before inviting me to dinner.

Education:

I have a degree in IT, because I was good at understanding what the IT folk do. This automatically qualifies me to ‘Nerd’ status.

I am currently pursuing a business degree at a master’s level which is an expensive exercise in self improvement. This qualifies me to ‘Jerk’ status. Did I mention I don’t give a crap about the environment?

But that is the boring bit. My real education comes from the Internet. I watch a shit-ton of TED video’s… and an on a constant lookout for new thoughts and ideas.

I like to keep moving forward! I.e. change… improvement… if I don’t see it, I lose interest. I want answers and this means I make a good person to work with. Just throw me a challenge eh? I study preferably alone and when in a group, I expect everyone is much smarter than me. I want them to be… its a competitive thing.

Employment:

I can do many jobs. As a friend, I am helpful and kind. I am good with technical stuff… computers, software… these things just seem to connect when I am using them. I do not do any sort of manual labour. if you want to be friends because you think I am going to help you move your couch… think again. I can do jobs that require a bit of creativity. if you are an artist and want someone to sit in the back, watch you work and critique in an oddly unrealistic Scottish accent…then hit me up. Yes, I can make completely fake and bad accents. But if I were to try one in your presence, do no forget to compliment me on how I nailed it. If not, expect a cessation of communication.

Life Skills: 

  • Email writing… I can write a 800 word email about no particular topic in 15 minutes flat.
  • Memorizing Lyrics!
  • Singing along to your favourite tracks and ruining them for you.
  • Chatting… I’m witty and much more humorous when I type.
  • Arriving to meetings on time. ALWAYS ON TIME.
  • Headshotting from across the entire map in Quake 1. Well, I could do that. I am rusty now…
  • Listening. Being empathetic to your pathetic and lending a shoulder to cry on.
  • Staring and pretending like I give a damn when you talk to me. Fake empathy?
  • Giving unwise advice.
  • Giving [Free Hugs]

 

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3 Comments

  1. mish mash: witty 😀 i actually rolled on the flooooor laughing 😉
    veryyy well written though… but witty, hahahhahahahh jajajjajajajajajajaj ! what happens to the witty rahul when he bumps into me ?
    ps. only pun intended ( a very serious face)

    Reply

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