Hey Genie! Umm, ya thanks for showing up in my dream… Okay, I know you are currently stranded on an island waiting for me to take a fateful trip so I may be castaway and arrive to rescue you. Good luck with that. But, I don’t think I am taking any cruises and flights are safe- So I’m sorry, you may be trapped there for a while.
But… oh you are tempting me with the 3 wishes. It’s always 3 wishes with you Genie. Not 5, not 10… always 3. Well, its only 3 wishes you could grant me… then those wishes are things I should not be able to achieve on my own. Victory is sweeter when it’s fought for right? But… if I cannot achieve my wishes on my own then I very well might take a cruise and steer the boat into an Iceberg.
With that in mind, I need to think what would be the 3 things I would ask you. Well, money is out. I don’t want to ask for that because a) its too cliché and b) I don’t do even hang out with people who think things that are cliché.
I am assuming you can bend free will. So naturally I am going to ask you for some kind of love potion thingy. Umm…. Ya, I’m pretty sure apart from being super nice (which doesn’t seem to work) or super rich (which if it did work- I would not want her!) there is little I can do to make someone really connect. Note that being super nice is a bit difficult cause I am super nice to everyone, so maybe I would have to be extra-super nice to said person- which would be difficult… no?
How would you know Genie? You are probably accustomed to a buffoon asking for some silly wishes once every 200 years. And then they forget you? Well… you don’t know human relations. You don’t know what love is like. You probably think all it needs are pheromones of a kind. Wait… but what if there is a truth to that? If there are pheromones of some kind… and they don’t wear out. Then maybe I only need to be nice enough to ensure… they say love is chemistry… yes? So maybe pheromones are just the right level of niceness, being kind, entertaining… that should do it. Okay Genie… looks like the first thing I wanted, I might be able to get on my own. Not your lucky day…
Second wish? Well, I might want to do a little bit of time travel. There are things in my past I want to change. You know, I’ve done a few things I am not proud of. What are you giving me that look for? Like you are such a saint! I’ll have you know the kind of things I want to change are like not being too stubborn and being nicer to people who deserve it. I regret having been a teenager is basically what I am saying. So… yeah. Maybe that would be my wish No.2.But… There is a small problem here. When I do time travel, I don’t trust past-me to listen. I have been there… I know that guy. So I need to actually go back and take past-me’s spot. And that requires me to be young again. Now… that is a bit complicated. If I am to become younger, how do I keep my experiences and memory!
Ahh… I here you… you are telling me that my memories will be intact. But you see Mr. Genie… I know a thing or two about how the brain works. The brain is plastic- as professor Klein kept telling me… that means as I grow older, my brain will keep changing. I do not trust you Mr. Genie to ensure my brain will continue to work well as I grow older again if it has been messed up with yet to occur experiences. And what if I enter a separate reality because I change something!! All I need to do basically is apologize to the people I need to apologize to and own up to my mistakes. Hey, that takes a bit of courage and humility… but it’s not brain science- which anyway you are not qualified to perform. Magic Shamgic. I don’t trust Genie to mess with my brain. Honestly Genie, I’m not trying to be difficult.
Third wish… I can see you are getting desperate… let me see… what would I want? Well, I definitely want more time in my life. I fear I won’t have enough time to read all the books I want to read and travel to all the places I want to travel. I want to do so many things!! How could I ever do em all if I only have 30-40 more years to live? A year goes by in a flash!! Just take 2012 for instance. What? You don’t know what happened in 2012? Yea, well… being trapped in a lamp and stranded in an island with no internet or satellite TV would have done that to you. What? No phones either.
Hey Genie… do you know the US has a black president now? Guy called Barak Obama. No! I am not making this up! How long have you been here on this island anyway? But… enough about you. Back to my 3rd wish which is to pack in all those experiences in the short time I have. Well, the thing is Genie… I am certain there will always be a WHOLE LOT OF THINGS I want to do irrespective of how much time I have. If I have more experiences, my mind, my thinking changes and so do my wants, needs and desires. But Genie, there was this quote from a movie I watched that comes to mind… ‘Happiness is only real when shared’ I would only want longevity if everyone around me lived longer… and medical science is maybe heading in that direction anyway. Damn Genie, looks like my third is really crap huh? I suddenly get the feeling that it was close to being cliché.
You know what genie… those were my three wishes… love, time travel and life… but I don’t need you Genie. I don’t think a magic trick will do it for me. I gotta go do this on my own.