To me, Spider Man 2 was, and still remains the best super hero movie of all time. And I have watched the dark knight (a movie which was barely about batman) and the avengers, thor, iron man… you name it. Spider Man 2 wins in my books because Peter Parker is struggling to be the hero he has to be. While many movies talk about a ‘character driven story’, the special effects and explosions seem to drown the impact of that story, but in the case of Spider Man 2, everything was perfect. Alfred Molina as Dock Ock was BRILLIANT. And yes, I pretty much adore that movie.
Now, we don’t talk about Spider Man 3. We all agree that director Sam Raimi lost the plot on that one. So I was genuinely interested in ‘The Amazing Spider Man’ reboot from last year. I had my worries seeing as the last Spider Man trilogy was barely 10 years old- what was the point of a new origins story? A number of my friends and well, the general media seemed to think the movie was a cash grab and a deliberate attempt to just put something out there so that Sony does not lose the Spider Man license. The story was generic, Emma Stone was wasted… and the entire movie failed to impress. Oh, incase you haven’t determined it as yet… i disliked it.
Now, I watched the movie a while back… but over the course of the last few days, I have been thinking why ‘the amazing spider man’ was so bad. See, the problem is, we now know the story of Spider Man. We know Peter enters a lab and is bit by a spider, we know that his uncle ben is killed and he is indirectly responsible for it… we know that Martin Sheen was trying to say, ‘With great power, comes great responsibility’ when he said ‘ if anyone’s destined for greatness, it’s you, son. You owe the world your gifts. You just have to figure out how to use them’ …. alright… that was a terrible quote.
But see what the problem is? We know who Spider Man is too well. Technology hasn’t exactly advanced so much that a new movie is going to blow the audiences away. And all this 3D nonsense, the lesser said about it, the better it is.
So, I was trying to come up with a way to change Spider Man. To hack into Stan Lee’s brain and basically change everything we know about him… but keep the essence. We know Spider Man has to be cool and interesting. You can’t do that by giving him a skateboard and a stutter. The Amazing Spider Man did that and suffers greatly for it! So here is my idea.
1) Ditch New York.
Oh I know, How can you do that? Its New York City! All those sky scrapers are perfect for Spider Man! Well… I’d say move him to the west coast. LA. You Still have sky scrapers and a new setting makes for a fresh start.
2) Ditch the photography
In case you didn’t know… Peter Parker is a photographer when he is not Spider Man. Well, if he is in Hollywood… can’t he be a stunt person? All those super human abilities will make him perfect for it! There you go! New job, and a cool lifestyle. This means you can have a mean director, an agent… the cast of characters expands exponentially!
A stunt job also can explain how Peter can make gadgets and suits for himself.
3) Ditch the radio-active spider
Well, not really. But at least we can now change how he get’s bitten. A movie set, spiders are part of it. There is a small accident. Peter ends up in the hospital… wakes up with super powers. It’s different from the tried and tested format of get bitten, go home, wake up and throw away your glasses.
So… Hollywood. I am not a script writer who gets paid millions of dollars for churning out crappy sequels… but hey, this idea shows promise! So… uh… just call me and we can negotiate the price for Spider Man: Miami or something.